Immerse.

My dad's mother, Grandma Mary Lou, has a life-story full of rich, shakey and beyond all else--inspiring tales. For Christmas this year I asked for one and only one special present. Answers to the following questions:

Where does happiness come from?

What was it like having a child (my father) at 17 years old? How did it shape who you became?

What's the most challenging lesson life has taught you? Was it also the most important?

And the last, she gave me a short response to over the phone...

"Do you still have dreams, Grandma? And if you do, do you plan on following them?"

"I think it this age, Rach, dreams shift from things you want to do yourself, and turn to things you want to be present for--to wittness in the time you have left. I'd love to be around to see the birth of your first baby. The unfolding of a whole new generation. That's a dream unlike anything you could wish for yourself. And you'll understand it as soon as you wittness it."


Answers to these questions are only the very beginning of a monumental story about to unfold. For years, I've been wanting to sit down with my Grandma and the tape recorder, and let the big red button capture the timeless stories and adventures of her life. This woman--daughter of a famous Southern Baptist Radio Preacher, run-away teenager and mother at age 17, political propaganda artist in an all-male D.C. studio, penny-by-penny single mother and bill payer for 3 children, and eventual President of the Mail Office at the White House under 3 different administrations... you can only imagine the stories of creativity, making-do, laughter, and juicy-insider secrets my Grandma has bottled up in her memory. And at age 77, she's not slowing down or holding still. She has a Mac PowerBook, bright orange crock shoes, goes swimming every day, reads a political book a week, cares for my two younger cousins after school, and does stained glass and oil paintings in her basement art studio.

Can I just say that if I do half the things in my life that she's done in hers, I'll feel pretty proud of my accomplishments.


This year I'm going to take the step to follow through on the idea I've had for years. I won't let another year pass without hitting the big red button. Without starting to record my Grandma's priceless story.

Although a bit early, the title of my new year's resolution list and my word of the year is Immerse. It's long and hefty and all wrapped up in the unavoidable feeling that a pivitol chapter in my life is nearing a symolic end. I'm feeling the pangs of nostalgia and worries of regret long before this last semester has even come, let alone gone. But nostalgia and regret are not the notes I want my song of college to end on. Even if it's tough, this list will challenge me to soak in every special 'last' of being present in a place and with a community that has expanded my mind and soul by immeasurable heaps.

What's at the top of your New Years Resolution list? Your word for the year that speaks straight from the soul?

At the very center is Trust

Shawna, Alternative Spring Break 2007 New Orleans, photo taken by sonia


At what point, at what moment, do we lose the essential Trust in ourselves to move mountains with simple intentions? So often it can feel like the world is conspiring against us, suppressing beauty, limiting potential, drowning curiosity and fervor with mind-numbing complacency.

But today, this incredible woman gave me a very strong reminder that no matter our means, anything and everything is possible with Deep Conviction. And all it takes, is one foot in front of the other. Small Steps. Small Breaths. And Daily Listening to the stories of hearts and souls unafraid to continue walking in an age of paralysis.

Today, I am letting the Truth come out. I completely Trust that I can...

share stories of Courage that move people to act with Compassion
build my own website
complete the Zine "if i were my own best friend"
be present enough to embrace my community
have patience with the Great Unknown of life after college
expose the honest truths and fears of my complicated heart
make up for my self-doubt with deep belief and caring


What whispering truths is your heart telling you today? Let them sing freely in the comments below.