Coming Alive

"The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room." - Waking Life

Here's what I'm practicing these days, as the end of my undergraduate career creeps up on me:

Step out of the waiting room and into the party...no matter how hard it feels. No matter how much it feels like "it's too late" or no matter how much I wonder, "why invest so much when i'm about to leave?"

Stay awake. No matter how strong the pull of sleep-walking can be. No matter how tired my eyes are or how deeply I just want to give up and rest. Feel this whole process. The anticipation of the end. The excitement of the now. The fear of the future. The small pangs of regret. Just feel through it all... awake to it all... and when i've had enough, when i've truly sat with these different feelings and let them speak their minds, then tell them that it's time for bed... that i've given them my time and i've got other things to care for now.

There is so much to be awake for these days... even the scarey, ambiguous unknown... esepecially the exciting new adventures. But there is no past or future that can live up to my present, so I'm going to stop letting them compete... withdraw my present from the competition, and just enjoy it. Just soak it all in. Just have fun.